covert narcissists

Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do during love bombing

What comes to your imagination when you think of the term ‘narcissists’? Most commonly, the image that clouds your mind is a person with an inflated ego, arrogance, and a higher sense of self. However, researchers have found out that some narcissists possess huge egos but they have shy or withdrawn natures. Psychologists call them covert narcissists and they are weirder than overtones. Weird things covert narcissists do make them toxic, and irritating. Initially, being over-kind, protective, and affectionate nature of your partner will make you feel that you might have found ‘the one’.

This phase, called love bombing, will last quite a period. However, soon it will overwhelm you and consequently, you will feel suffocated with overblown obsessions, controlling nature, and chronic manipulations. If you are in a relationship and suspect your partner of love bombing. Then keep reading on as we will discuss 5 Weird things covert narcissists do during love bombs.

What is the Love Bombing?

Considering the weird things covert narcissists do, a display of affection is probably the trickiest as you might easily fall for it. They make you feel that their whole world revolves around you, and you are the heart of it. They would shower you with extravagant gifts and compliments and flatter you for being an amazing person. It is a dangerous psychological technique called love bombing. Here, you have to focus on following weird things covert narcissists do to differentiate between an honest comment and appraisal or a love bombing. 

Whirlwind romance

You just met a person, a new relationship, and a new partner, yet, he/she starts making over-the-top statements, such as confessing their undying love, calling you their “soul mate”, and making long-term plans. On the whole, it will feel exaggerated because you are still in the initial phase of a relationship, processing your feelings for your partner. 

Demanding your undivided attention

In a new relationship, you will generally find it cute that your partner wants to have more of your time, and attention, and is so caught up with you. In reality, this is a manipulative tactic included in the list of weird things covert narcissists do. It will leave you all engulfed in their love trap. Additionally, they will also give you the same level of attention, if not more. In this way, they try to create an environment of dependability, which makes you all consumed and dependent on them.

Isolation from social circles

As discussed earlier, covert narcissists during love bombing manipulatively make themselves the center of your life, which, in return, will leave you short of friends and make you far from family. In such situations, you feel that they are essential for your mental health and a balance in life, and you try your level hard to not jeopardize the relationship in any way so you would not end up being alone. 

Veiled Manipulations

Contrary to overt narcissists, covert narcissists are considerably shy and modest in their general behavior which makes them even more complicated and somewhat dangerous as they can go unnoticed, and you might not know how long you have been dealing with a covert narcissist. For instance, they will always complain about how people hurt their feelings, use them for personal gains, and trample over their emotions. So, in a subtle yet manipulative way, they are gaining over your subconscious to not hurt their feelings, agree to their whims and demands, give them utmost importance, and not leave or break the relationship.

Extremely Sensitive Nature

One of the weird things covert narcissists do is to show extreme sensitivity towards any sort of criticism whether it is positive, negative, or constructive. Arguably, people, in general, don’t like criticism, but to identify a covert narcissist, you are looking for a higher sensitivity towards criticism or judgmental comments. You will see them brushing it off, showing that such remarks do not have an effect on them, if anything, it will fuel their insecurity. They will become self-deprecating to gain attention and sympathy. Eventually, your compassionate and caring instincts will kick in, and in no time, you will be coddling and indulging them to make them feel better. 

Controlling your social and personal life

A weird thing covert narcissists do is to dictate your life after you have become dependable on them. But the time you realize this, you will be deep in their trap. Through the excessive number of gifts, they will shower on you, they make choices for you, i.e., what you wear, clothes, accessories, etc. Similarly, they will also control their lifestyle for you by managing things for you, taking all matters into their hands. In the beginning, it might feel liberating to have someone managing stuff and making choices for you, but, consequently, you’ll lose your sense of self.

Living in the moment

You will notice that one of the weird things covert narcissists do is that they do not see beyond the moment they are living in. For instance, the stage during the stage of love bombing, they will be over in their head. Not only are they manipulating you into thinking that your relationship is an ideal one, but they also lead themselves to think that what they are feeling is the best emotion. In their head, they have found a perfect person which arises the need to sweep their partner off their feet, which is the reason for their love bombing.

Inability to understand someone’s point of view

Covert narcissists lack empathy and any sense of understanding of other’s points of view.  You will soon realize that they care less about what you want. They avoid ‘the talk’ where you discuss issues with each other. And if such conversations happen, they will mostly leave you emotionally drained because conversations with a covert narcissist usually end up being all about him/her, i.e., how the situations are affecting them, and how their needs or expectations are not met.

Bottom Line 

Covert narcissists do weird things during love bombing, to keep you hooked with them but it is temporary.As they show their actual personality in the next stages of their relationships. Therefore, beware of these things before it’s too late for you. Because,narcissists are adept at donning the mask that their intended audience finds most alluring. It’s possible to have a healthy whirlwind romance, but if you feel as though you’re in the centre of a tornado of attention and it’s more likely than not unsettling, it’s time to take a step back and have a conversation. It’s doubtful that the person is a good fit for you if they can’t alter their conduct to better suit your needs.




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