things covert narcissists say

5 Tested Tips To Handle Bitter Things Covert Narcissists Say?

It’s not easy to tackle bitter things Covert Narcissists say because they keep hovering in your mind for hours and even days. Since I have personally experienced the abuse of a narcissist, I know how stressful and toxic it can be.

Being around a Covert Narcissist at home or the workplace is unbearable. Once things Covert Narcissists say get stuck in your mind, it can be detrimental to your mental health. Understanding the mind games of Covert Narcissists and why they do what they do can help maintain decorum with them while preserving your mental well-being.

I want to share some of my tried and tested tips to help you deal with bitter things Covert Narcissists say.

Don’t take it personally

It is a pro tip! Believe me.

A Covert Narcissist will always say something or the other to hurt you, but the idea here is to ignore it. Often, Covert Narcissists are not even aware of what they are doing. They probably don’t even know that they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because it can be due to genetics, childhood trauma or abuse, difficult upbringing, parental neglect, etc. Bitter things Covert Narcissists say to you are not your problem, and it’s theirs, and most of the time, they are unaware of it altogether. They need therapy, but they rarely opt for it.

You can try your luck by persuading them to seek professional help, but I doubt they will listen. I am saying this with so much confidence because I tried doing that with my friend, but he reacted extremely harshly, so I just stepped back.

Although their bitter words seem like a personal attack on you, Covert Narcissists will never realize their mistake. Therefore, you must constantly keep reminding yourself there’s nothing wrong with you. You are not responsible for their actions, nor can you amend their personality’s negative traits.

Anger management & emotion regulation

I cannot emphasize enough on this tip!!

Bitter things Covert Narcissists say will drive you insane, and they will push you over the edge. You will want to retaliate, argue with them, get frustrated, and even punch them in their face. HOLD ON! Surprise them by giving them no response at all. No response is a response in itself if you pay attention.

A Covert Narcissist feeds on your impulsivity, madness, and reaction. Try not to argue with them if possible but if you must, practice staying calm. I know it is the most challenging thing you will ever do but trust me, that’s the only way to end an argument respectfully.

You can work on your anger management and emotional stability by learning yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. If you give them an emotional reaction, they will thrive on it. They will know your weakness and strike you there repeatedly while bashing you, humiliating you, and belittling you. Your anger will allow them to act similarly and blame everything on you. Who will be the bad guy? TA-DA! Nobody but YOU!

Emotion regulation can help you anticipate how they will react to challenging conversations, and you can plan your response accordingly.

Build self-confidence and boost self-esteem

A Covert Narcissist will always say bitter things to you to boost their ego and demean your self-esteem. It can hurt you, especially at a workplace where you work hard day and night to prove yourself or get a promotion.

You must ensure that your self-esteem remains healthy to cope with the toxic behaviour of a Covert Narcissist. While dealing with someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you must know that one of the many ways they feed their ego is by humiliating you, so you have to stay strong, no matter how challenging they make it for you.

Your head must be high and your attitude higher. Narcissists run away from confident individuals because they know their bullshit will not be tolerated there. On the contrary, if you have weak boundaries, low self-esteem, and no confidence, they will be more inclined to show dominance over you.

If you demonstrate an assertive attitude, they will be cautious around you and think twice before messing with you. A couple of years back, I didn’t know how to set boundaries and fell victim to Narcissistic abuse. After enduring the abuse, I realized how important it is to set boundaries firmly. I highly recommend that everyone be confident and upright while dealing with a Covert Narcissist.

Confide in friends & family

I understand how bitter things Covert Narcissists say can impact your emotional wellness. Any normal human being will lose their sanity while dealing with a narcissist. When going through such a rough patch in your life, you should maintain healthy ties with your family and friends so that they can serve as a source of peace for you. To protect your mental health, you must have someone to count on in times of need.

When I was going through such a similar situation, I used to share everything with my best friends, and they used to comfort, advise, and calm me down whenever I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Look around yourself and see whom you can trust the most. Speak your heart out to them and relieve your stress. Make sure you can show your authentic self to them without the fear of being judged or misunderstood.

When dealing with a narcissistic coworker or a boss, it’s best to resist the urge to gossip or vent at your workplace. Don’t forget that they can demote or terminate you or file a complaint against you to higher authorities if they get the slightest clue of your whereabouts. Hence, be mindful of your surroundings.

Know when to move on

A Covert Narcissist can be emotionally and, at times, physically abusive. Some signs of an abusive relationship are as mentioned:

  • Enviousness, a humiliation in public
  • Shouting, using swear and other offensive words
  • Name-calling, patronizing
  • Threats, accusations

Watch out for bitter things Covert Narcissists say and how they behave with you most of the time. A couple of warning signs include:

  • Micro-managing you and your whereabouts
  • Blaming you for everything that goes wrong in their life
  • Gaslighting you and lying to you about obvious things
  • Trivializing your opinions and perspective
  • Monitoring your every move and action
  • Repeatedly projecting their failures at you
  • Displacing their anger and frustration at you

All these signs that you need to leave the person and exit a relationship. If it’s at your workplace, then you can consider resigning.

You must move on if you feel threatened, manipulated, and controlled in the presence of a Covert Narcissist. I blocked my narcissistic colleague and cut him out of my life when I felt isolated, and my mental and physical health started deteriorating. It would be best if you did not endure physical abuse. Run away if a Covert Narcissist displays signs of mental illness or substance abuse but won’t seek help.

Final thoughts

Covert Narcissism is a severe mental health condition that can prevent us from building and maintaining healthy relationships with narcissists.

It’s pretty challenging to deal with bitter things Covert Narcissists say. Still, setting boundaries, learning not to take things personally, practising staying calm, and controlling your emotions can help. However, it would help if you also took someone close on board or sought therapy. You must quit and move on if things get out of hand.


Do you want  solutions for your social and psychological problems?

Then Subscribe to our newsletter