Enduring narcissistic abuse is not a piece of cake, and forgetting toxic things Covert Narcissists say is even worse. If you were genuinely invested in your relationship with a narcissistic partner, breaking up would be the most challenging step. When you desperately want to save your relationship and genuinely love a person, even if they are a Covert Narcissist, you try everything in your capacity to prevent it from falling apart.
I know you must have done everything possible, and breaking up would have been your last resort. Moving on after a breakup is not so tough, but if the split was with a Covert Narcissist, it is no less than a disaster. Toxic things Covert Narcissists say stick to your mind and are hard to forget as they deliberately do it to hurt our self-respect.
While recovering from toxic things Covert Narcissists say can be draining, it is not impossible. As you experience many emotions after a breakup, it is essential to remember that none of it was your fault. You didn’t want to leave and were forced to cut ties with a narcissistic individual because you couldn’t take it anymore.
I request you to continue reading the article as I discuss the solutions to overcome toxic things Covert Narcissists say.
Delete, block, and zero contact
One of the most effective ways to forget toxic things Covert Narcissists say is to sever ties with them completely. I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, and I can tell from personal experience that I deleted the toxic person from my life and blocked him from my social media accounts. You cannot move on after a breakup with a Covert Narcissist unless you delete everything that reminds you of them. A selfish individual will try to lure you back in, make fake apologies, and even gaslight you to have you back in their life. They will go to any extent to get their narcissistic supply.
You must be cautious because repeatedly saying NO to your ex-partner is exhausting. Seeing their emotional drama, manipulations, and blame games, you can feel guilty and might as well reconsider your decision. At first, I tried to set boundaries because I didn’t dare to cut a friend off. When it didn’t work for me, I completely removed him from my life.
Acknowledge your grief and express your feelings
Losing a partner can bring you distress. Whatever that was, you were committed to someone for quite some time, and it’s natural to feel the grief of losing a relationship. Loss can trigger grief, even if it’s for a good cause. The grief you experience after enduring narcissistic abuse can be complicated. Toxic things Covert Narcissists say to you throughout your relationship duration can be hard to forget. However, you may feel numbness and a sense of detachment from your surroundings. Long term effect is you fail to trust others and tend to stay in solitude.
It’s essential to bear in mind that these are all the symptoms of healing as you recover from a toxic breakup. These feelings can be painful to handle, and you will sometimes miss them to the extent that you would want to return to your abuser. Resist that urge, my friend! Feel every feeling that you have been bottling up for ages. If you are unsure how to release your emotions, try journaling, artwork, or music.
Keep calm and develop patience.
Be patient with yourself during your healing process because recovery from narcissistic abuse takes time. It can even take months to years, depending on the duration you were in a relationship with a Covert Narcissist. Every time you close your eyes, you will recall their face flushed with anger, yelling at you, demeaning and hurting you with toxic things Covert Narcissists say in a relationship. Don’t give up yet. The journey is difficult, but the final destination will set you free and bring you peace.
With time, your calmness and patience will begin to bear fruit. You will find yourself forgetting toxic things Covert Narcissist said and did to you. It is rightly said that patience is a virtue. Don’t beat yourself up for having the urge to fight back, retaliate, or reclaim what you lost while in a relationship. Keep encouraging yourself as you move forward on the path of recovery. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
You probably ruined yourself when you were with a Covert Narcissist. They tend you keep you on your toes all the time that you barely have a moment for yourself. You lose your self-confidence, and your self-esteem gets shattered because of painful things Covert Narcissists say, and it’s high time that you reclaim your old self. It’s never too late to take a fresh start, and you can do this by reconnecting with your friends and family and by exercising self-care techniques.
National Domestic Violence Hotline claims that self-care can significantly improve your views about yourself and boost your ego. You can practice self-care by the following methods:
- Make a proper sleep routine. Go to bed early and wake up early in the morning.
- Go to the gym to bring your body back in shape.
- You can opt for meditation or yoga to help you regulate your complex emotions.
- Write down positive affirmations and place them somewhere you can always see. It will help you uplift your self-esteem.
- Your mind follows your body. Eat and drink healthily. Consume fresh juices, milk, and fruits. Avoid fizzy drinks and junk food as much as you can.
- Find a creative hobby or revisit an old one. You may be a good artist, a singer, or a writer.
- Reconnect with your best friends and spend quality time with your family members.
Forgive yourself and reflect on your experience.
You have all the right to be angry at yourself for enduring narcissistic abuse for so long, and I am not saying you can forgive and forget in the blink of an eye. Moving on from an abusive relationship is traumatising because it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but you must first forgive yourself for recovering from the abuse.
It is easy to dwell on the negative aspects of a narcissistic relationship and comparatively tougher to erase it all from your memory. However, if it makes you feel worse about yourself, try remembering how it helped you grow and become stronger.
I have a close friend who was in a toxic relationship with a Covert Narcissist. After her breakup, I witnessed a completely different individual, a more brilliant, strong-headed, confident, and wiser woman altogether.
You can reflect on your experience as to how you don’t have to repeat what you did in your previous relationship. For example, you must learn to set boundaries and say NO, don’t take any disrespect and entertain zero negativity etc.
My final word
Forgetting bitter things Covert Narcissists say and moving on is equivalent to war with yourself. You might never forget them, but you will surely learn to live with the lessons this relationship taught you. Narcissistic abuse is dangerous and detrimental to your mental and physical well-being. The after-effects can last longer than expected, but you must be steadfast on the recovery journey and never contact that narcissist again. You need to be patient with yourself and deal with various emotions calmly. Practising self-care can help you shift focus from the abuser to yourself. As you acknowledge the grief and let out the painful feelings or share them with your loved ones, you will begin to feel better slowly and gradually. In the end, learn to forgive and love yourself. Value yourself; only then will people respect you.