The actions of a covert narcissist primarily revolve around manipulation. They consistently manipulate individuals, whether they are spouses, friends, relatives, or co-workers, to satisfy their ego and replenish their sense of self-importance. While some people can easily recognize their manipulative tactics, unfortunately, many others become entangled in their cycle of abuse. If you are also encountering a narcissist in your life, then you are likely accustomed with the upsetting experience of engaging in fights or even healthy discussions with them. Having this kind of experience can leave you feeling as if you are losing your composure. It happens as narcissists are expert exploiters who deliberately screw discussions to keep a control over the other individual.
When faced with threats, a covert narcissist’s reaction is contingent on the particular circumstances. Like anyone else, they will evaluate the circumstances and do the most suitable course of action. But, their love for confrontation and conflicts makes them different from normal people. They may even anticipate such conflicts due to their paranoid and delusional conviction that everyone in the world possesses the same level of imperfections as they perceive in themselves.
Covert narcissist use a special technique called “word salad” while facing threats from their partners or friends .It is a situation, when they might initiate a fight, or make hurtful comments to avert the situation. In addition to that, they also confuse you by distorting your words in a very manipulative way. If you are also facing an uncomfortable relationship with them, then keep reading as we will discuss 7 things covert narcissists say when threatened.
You are so Selfish
When you assert yourself and defend your boundaries, they might utter such statements to instill feelings of guilt or shame for valuing your self-respect. Their reaction stems from a narcissistic injury, and their aim is to diminish your worth and bring you in line with their expectations. Narcissists might use the technique of blaming others of being selfish as a means of exploiting, and then diverting the attention away from their own selfish nature. Psychologists call this behavior a special defense instrument called projection. Covert narcissists effectively project their own self-centeredness on those around them by calling them self-centered. It is their effective technique to shift blame and evade accountability for their own negative actions.
You are so jealous and insecure
This perspective arises from their sense of threat in response to your confrontation. These are things covert narcissists say when they are unwilling to listen to your thoughts as it brings forth the unattractive aspects of themselves. By making it about your flaws, they evade taking responsibility for their own emotions and past actions. They harbor jealousy towards you, but their intention is to diminish and manipulate you into believing that you are the one consumed by envy, hatred, and jealousy. Depending on the circumstances, their aim is to make you feel negative emotions, doubt yourself, and internalize their accusations until you genuinely believe that you are indeed jealous of whatever they have accused you of being jealous about. In the midst of your confusion, they have effectively concealed and suppressed their own jealousy behind the façade of your alleged jealousy.
Why you used to drink too much?
When you confront a narcissist about their negative behavior, then these are things covert narcissists say to deflect your attention .Here, they often bring up unrelated past wrongdoings on your part. If you had a previous issue, like struggling with excessive drinking in the past, they may downplay their cheating as being less significant compared to your previous drinking problem. If you were once late for a date two years ago, they may use it as a justification for ignoring you for an extended period. Interestingly, if you dare to mention any of their own wrongdoings, they may label you as a bitter lunatic harboring a list of grievances.
You are too sensitive
Assuming the position of the reasonable party enables the narcissist to portray the targeted individual as irrational, excessively emotional, and possibly even hysterical. This approach is frequently adopted by men towards women and is reinforced by ingrained cultural prejudices. In truth, narcissistic individuals are inherently hypersensitive, emotionally unstable, and detached from reality. When they label you as overly sensitive in response to feeling diminished, criticized, or targeted, it is a typical manifestation of narcissistic projection.
Let’s focus on the good
These are things covert narcissists say in gas lighting situations, with the intention of persuading you to disregard warning signs and mistreatment. The purpose behind their use of this phrase is to manipulate your perception and gain control over your understanding of events.
You are just overreacting
Narcissistic individuals derive satisfaction from asserting that you’re overreacting, especially when they are aware of their own wrongdoing. These are things covert narcissists say, when they lack understanding of your emotions or the reasons behind your upset.
This is due to their extreme self-centeredness, which hinders their ability to recognize any flaws within themselves. Their aim is to emotionally manipulate you by devaluing your feelings and dismissing their validity. Psychologists believe that they try to avert facing any consequences for their negative activities and affirm control over the circumstances. When you show a reaction to their conduct, they declare it as an overreaction.
You have trouble trusting others
Narcissists use this statement because they struggle to comprehend why you find it difficult to trust them. Moreover, these things covert narcissists say while operating under the belief that if someone makes a mistake, it automatically equates to them being inherently bad and untrustworthy. This mindset arises from their lack of empathy, rendering them incapable of understanding the emotions or intentions of others.
By uttering this phrase, narcissists aim to avoid validating your feelings or acknowledging their own role in generating any sense of insecurity. It serves as a form of gaslighting, gradually wearing you down, fostering dependence on them, and inducing feelings of isolation.
Now you are clear that what are common things covert narcissists say whenever feeling thretaned .In this kind of situation, it is quite crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and safety above all else. Seeking support when needed and minimizing interaction with the narcissist whenever possible are key steps to take.
If you suspect that a narcissist is engaging in this kind of behavior towards you, it is imperative to seek assistance. As, these kinds of things covert narcissist say to leave a long-term effects on your mental health, and the guidance of a licensed therapist can help you navigate the situation in a safe manner.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is vital to extricate yourself from the situation. However, it is important to consider your safety and the safety of your family, as narcissists tend to be highly manipulative and controlling. If you believe that your well-being or that of your loved ones is at risk, leaving the relationship may not be immediately feasible.
Finally, if you need additional information about the covert narcissists and their common behavior, then click here.