Covert narcissists are undoubtedly one of the most complex personalities to get around in life. Narcissists seek dominance over others, whether self-entitlement, pretentious nature, or superiority complex. Covert narcissists behave subtly; their behavior is not apparent until significant harm has been done.Navigating the challenging world of covert narcissist can be bewildering at times. Do you often ponder whether your covert narcissist friends spends money on you? Or they exert control via money or exhibit weird things covert narcissists do? Do they feel reluctant to spend money on you?
Covert narcissists hide their tendencies in such a shell that even close friends find it difficult to crack that. You are not alone in the struggle to understand their baffled nature. In this blog, we are shedding light on weird things covert narcissists do while spending money on friends. Let’s delve into the details!
Weird Things Covert Narcissists do While Spending Money
1. Manipulative Generosity
Using generosity as a tool to manipulate and exert dominance over others is one of the weird things covert narcissists do. Their often kind gestures and showering of expensive gifts are a sense of obligation.
A covert narcissist friend may be stingy in private but show generosity in public to cultivate the world’s perception. They later use their act of generosity to instigate a situation by guilt-tripping you into doing something for them.
2. Narcissists are Stingy with Money
A Covert Narcissist friend would not think of spending a penny unless it benefits their self-image in any way. A covert narcissist friend would only be generous when they have an ulterior motive of seeking admiration and validation.
If you are in dire need of help, you can not expect a narcissistic friend to help you out. When you ask them, they would start implying how much financial constraint they face. In the streak of weird things covert narcissists do, being stingy is a reflection of their perplexing nature.
3. Excessive Boasting about the Money They Spend on You
Covert narcissist friends would constantly boast about the expenses they ever made on you. Another weird thing that circles their intricate behavior is to keep their self-entitlement alive. You would find them constantly nagging about when and where they spend money on you.
Suppose you are sitting in a public gathering, and a covert narcissist friend keeps bragging about how they lavishly spend money on you. Their excessive Boasting about their expenses on you would never stop; they use this tactic for their insatiable need for admiration.
4. Stealing the Spotlight
They have a habit of stealing the spotlight in any conversation or situation that is irrelevant to them. Covert narcissist friends indiscriminately divert attention to themselves to express constant gratitude and admiration from others around them.
They are more inclined to spend more time on friends who flatter them or validate their self-image by admiration. For example, if a covert narcissist friend pays for your dinner or spends money on you. You would find them turning every conversation about when they show generosity.
Making friends feel in debt is a weird thing covert narcissists do to overshadow their friends.
5. Sense of Entitlement
Covert narcissist friends always consider their interests before anyone else; nothing matters to them unless it benefits them. They would buy you anything if they made them to highlight in front of the world. Covert narcissists do not hesitate to turn the tide in their favor as long as that justifies their imperative need for attention and validation.
They are so self-obsessed that they can’t do anything that is not in their best interest. Covert narcissists are opposed to giving gifts to their friends; they are always interested in what they would get in return. They make excuses when you ask them to do something for you.
6. Narcissists are Punitive With Money
Covert narcissists’ friends manifest punitive behavior while spending money for their friends because they want to exert dominance. They intend to be perceived as entitled and affluent while showing off their money.
By not spending money on their friends, they bolster their self-centered ego, asserting authority or maintaining a sense of superiority. Money is a means of control; a narcissist feels that exerting dominance over friends is paramount.
How to Deal with a Covert Narcissist Friend?
If your friend shows most of the narcissist mentioned above tendencies, it’s time for you to stand up for yourself and deal with their toxic and controlling nature. When the world is not revolving around them, they become jealous, inconsiderate, and selfish.
You need to figure out how to deal with weird things covert narcissists do. Let’s dive into the assertive ways to deal with such behavior.
1. Gaining Perspective
If you find yourself in a storm of weird things a covert narcissist does, the foremost thing is to think from a broader perspective. You must be aware that covert narcissists use gaslighting as a tool to manipulate you. They would make you question reality with their deceitful behavior. We should ward off the negativity when it tries to wear off our confidence or self-esteem.
2. Establish Boundaries
When you are dealing with a covert narcissist friend, you should be assertive to establish boundaries. Identify which of their weird things are unacceptable and tell them the cost of breaking boundaries. Showing vulnerability to a covert narcissist friend would put you even more. It would help if you were determined to enforce these boundaries and stick with reasonable consequences.
3. Don’t let them Guilt Trip you
Covert narcissists play on your vulnerabilities, fears, and compassion by using guilt trips. Dealing with a narcissistic friend is challenging as they use tactical manipulation or guilt-tripping you. Stay firm, and do not let them into doing something you cannot do. Most of the time, they don’t make it evident that they guilt trip you. They imply it via their controlling behavior.
4. Seek support from Friends
If you come across a covert narcissist, get the support of friends who are not close to the narcissist. Try to spend more time with friends who value and listen to you. Covert narcissists are meant to be attention hogs, and they would find it hard for you to seek support from friends. In a whirlpool of weaving self-esteem, you must talk to your friends and share your feelings.
5. Cut Ties with Narcissist Friends
No one is meant to be perfect, but it is challenging to bear the intricate, deceitful behavior of a covert narcissist friend. If your friend has narcissistic traits, it is time for you to reconsider whether you should keep the friendship intact. Yourself, your confidence, and your self-esteem should be your utmost priority; do not feel hesitant to cut ties with a covert narcissist friend. You don’t have to put up with weird things covert narcissists do.
The Bottom Line
Covert narcissists are predominantly materialistic and obsessed with anything that would allow them to flaunt their power and image. They only like spending money on their friends if they benefit themselves and manifest everything they want. Understanding the weird things covert narcissists do to assert their dominance is the first step to reclaiming your mental peace.
If you encounter any of these weird things, covert narcissists do to assert their dominance and boast their self-entitlement, do not turn a blind eye to these signs. Create boundaries, avoid self-blame, protect your mental health, and break free from this vicious cycle of manipulation.