Does the ever-friendly, generous, and harmless friend or colleague under the facade of altruism force you into guilt, anxiety, and emotional codependency?
As the saying goes “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing”; Communal Narcissists are the best example you’ll get to witness in this article.
- Exploring Communal Narcissists
- Psychological Warfare: How Communal Narcissism Impacts Mental Health
- Dealing With Communal Narcissists: Helpful Tips and Tricks
Exploring Communal Narcissists
The ready-to-die martyr and the god of altruism, yes I’m talking about Communal Narcissists. This prosocial behavior in narcissism refers to Communal Narcissism. But, as you know narcissists are the people who are motivated purely by self-interest, Communal Narcissists wear a facade hiding their superiority complex by appearing charitable, helpful, and compassionate. Communal Narcissists tend to weaponize the idea of morality by using communal goals. For instance, they are the work colleagues who snatch the credit for group projects and Communal Narcissists shift the spotlight towards them in communal events.
Now you may think how can somebody stoop so low to weaponize altruistic needs, the answer is that Communal Narcissists want endless admiration to satisfy their fragile ego. Their favorite playground is charity events, donation drives, social protests, volunteering, support groups, etc. Communal Narcissists may appear extra responsible and caring to lure others into thinking they want to serve humanity. They are the ones always taking central stage to flaunt their volunteering accomplishments.
Various research has been done in the field of psychology to explore the behavior of Communal Narcissists; some of them state that Communal Narcissists use a benevolent and trustworthy presence to look moralistic compared to others; however, other people often don’t perceive their prosocial acts as true compassion. [1]
In another study on “Narcissism and Social Media: The Role of Communal Narcissism” by Kristinsdottir, et al… the researchers state that Communal Narcissists view themselves as morally superior while interacting on social media. Communal Narcissists’ behavior on different social media platforms including Twitter, Reddit, and Instagram has been noted. The research findings suggest that Twitter and Instagram are frequently used by people who score high on Communal Narcissism as they receive feedback and positive ratings of their content. Reddit however remains out of their likeable forums. Moreover, Communal Narcissists’ social media presence is highly driven by social validation and recognition. Hence, social media interactions aid their self-image, making them post more regularly to be admired by others. [2]
Since Communal Narcissism is about a sword dipped in honey, what effects it has on our mental health is also interesting to understand.
Psychological Warfare: How Communal Narcissism Impacts Mental Health
1. Guilt-tripping Others:
Communal Narcissists tend to induce anxiety and guilt in other people.
As Communal Narcissists act prosocial in doing charity or speaking up for social rights, they also devalue the efforts other people are investing in those projects. Moreover, the reason Communal Narcissists like to attend and often organize big events is for the admiration they receive. Communal Narcissists often overshadow the worth of their partners and colleagues by intentionally making them feel shallow. Communal Narcissists claim that their sacrifices are running this relationship and they’ve done so much out of the way for you, this not only guilt-trips others but also makes them anxious about their roles.
2. Taking Emotional Toll on Others:
Communal Narcissists are experts at seamlessly taking a psychological and emotional toll on others. Communal Narcissists tend to help the victims but they also expect them to return the favors. Oftentimes those favors are boastful admiration and public appreciation. At the workplace, Communal Narcissists are the managers who like their name at the top of every project. They expect bootlicking behavior from others. They will judge others for not contributing to social causes while flexing their donations. Communal Narcissists emotionally abuse others by not giving them due credit for their work. In relationships, Communal Narcissists undermine the love and care of their partners, by highlighting their logical decisions and financial support.
3. Moralistic Manipulation:
People dealing with Communal Narcissists in a work setting or in a family often feel devastated by the manipulation they cause. They will gaslight others on moralistic grounds by projecting themselves as angelic. This saintly attire helps them escape any type of accountability. Communal Narcissists manipulate others by giving them unsolicited advice, and when things turn south they will blame it on others. Moreover, Communal Narcissists expect that due to their holy persona and excessive altruism, other people must hold them in reverence. In relationships, they often indulge in self-martyring behaviors to love-bomb their partners, as a result this creates abusive codependency.
4. Big-Mouth Deception:
The Big-Mouth bragging of their generosity is something on the go for Communal Narcissists. Community works are the means they use to fulfill their desire for superiority. Unlike classical narcissists who are all big talk and have no empathy, Communal Narcissists use this empathy to achieve a heroic social image. Communal Narcissists demand recognition by appearing on TV, social media, banners, flyers, pamphlets, etc. They will talk about selflessly helping others meanwhile they’re also taking all the limelight. Communal Narcissists deceive the sufferers by highlighting their services and hard work. People often fall for their altruistic persona and think of them as the savior of the social world.
5. Instigating Conflicts:
I must say the strongest impact on mental health by Communal Narcissists would be instigating conflicts. Communal Narcissists could act in a highly dramatic and emotional manner at volunteering events to cause a conflict. They take advantage of such situations where they can become the hero. It may include sowing the seeds of certain social agendas which are debatable. Pushing conflicts within the social groups serves their personal gain. For them this rule is very simple; the more Communal Narcissists act virtuously the more people will admire them. Moreover, conspiring against colleagues and winning baseless arguments serves the purpose of Communal Narcissists.
Knowing the reality of Communal Narcissists not only affects mental health but also breaks down your trust in goodwill. We understand nobody likes someone else seizing their moments of appreciation. It is exhausting to see when it’s your time to celebrate, somebody starts flexing their achievements.
In this unseen battle of protecting your self-worth and mental health from Communal Narcissists, let’s wrap it up with helpful tips and tricks that you can use against them.
Dealing With Communal Narcissists: Helpful Tips and Tricks
1. Setting up Healthy Boundaries
You have to combat their dominance and greed for fame by building healthy boundaries to secure your self-image. Do not let them overtake your credit by avoiding their unnecessary intrusion.
2. Assertive Communication
Whenever you see Communal Narcissists bragging about their individual share in a group project, always talk about equality. Understand their communication patterns and adapt an assertive communication style with them to combat their humble-bragging.
3. Self-love and Self-care
Interacting with Communal Narcissists takes a great toll on your mental health, they may shame you into guilt and anxiety but self-care could always help. Prioritize your mental health by meditating and deep breathing, and get yourself busy in activities that validate your self-worth. For instance, grounding practices, walking, and writing do help with regaining self-love.
4. Unlearn Communal Narcissism
Communal Narcissism often attracts people serving in higher positions. They become habitual to positive feedback and tend to reinforce the social appraisal at any cost. You can break this cycle by avoiding sugar-coated conversations and giving selective appreciation.
5. Seek Professional Help and Social Support
Communal Narcissists love bootlickers and you may see they’re giving preference to them over you at the workplace. Such discrimination behind the mask of altruism could impact your mental health. Seek professional help and therapy for understanding Communal Narcissism. It is hard to find social support in people who see Communal Narcissists as superheroes, but still try to surround yourself with those who genuinely believe in the integrity of prosocial behavior.
If you want to know more about Communal Narcissists, then click here!
Talia Siddiq, is a qualified MBBS doctor and she is doing specialization in psychology. She has a good experience of working with people suffering from mental issues. She has written extensively on most common yet unattended issues faced by the youth such as psychological issues, relationship problems, self-harm, addictions, career counseling, financial freedom etc.
