The male ego is often blamed for being the reason for an unhappy marriage. Men are dominant in the relationship and can spoil marital bliss. A covert narcissist husband lacks empathy and refuses to see the wife’s point of view. These attributes define a bad husband. However, these traits have their roots in narcissism.
The massive ego and superiority complex of men can sometimes be unbearable. It is not always easy to give up on a relationship you have built for years. If your husband is showing signs of narcissism, then this guide will be helpful for you. We will be sharing some wonderful tips to survive with a narcissistic husband.
Study their thoughts and personality
Your relationship will never work unless you study your narcissist husband deeply. It is important to analyze their personality and thoughts. You will have to step outside your marital relationship and take on the job to study the narcissist. It is very important to learn about the root cause of the actions of a covert narcissist. It would help if you also learned how to detach them from all the emotional thoughts holding them back.
The habitual arguments should be reset by looking at another approach. You must be able to analyze their narcissistic behavior accurately. If you follow a dispassionate manner and judgment, it will make things easier to judge and analyze. This will also bring clarity of thought and restore your emotional patience and balance to cope with them. Sometimes it can be hard to manage a covert narcissist because such people can get on your nerves.
Make them realize their wrongdoings
Most narcissists are proud of their narcissism. They consider it a positive aspect of their personality. It is important to point out when they do something out of the line. However, do not always stand their bad attitude all the time. You can show them that you are done with their harsh attitude. Make sure to use a non-sarcastic tone as this can be quite effective. You can always use this tip if your relationship is trusted and valued by your husband. It is important to tell your covert narcissist about your state of mind. If you feel hurt or depressed due to their certain action, it is your right to tell make them to realize their mistake.
Break the abuse cycle
A Covert narcissist often uses a unique abuse cycle. This cycle involves four phases:
• The narcissist may feel threatened at first
• Abusing becomes their habit. Physical and mental abuse become a part of their daily routine.
• They end up becoming a victim
• Feeling empowered in the end and blaming the other person for the ugly turn of events.
Understanding this cycle will allow you to stop the cycle. It is important to break this cycle to prevent everyday fights and arguments.
Refuse to accept their abusive tactics
Narcissists follow a habit of abusing their victims. They abuse their victims in different ways. You might get abused physically, emotionally, verbally, mentally, financially, sexually, and spiritually. A narcissist may show aggression and try to twist the truth. A Covert narcissist limits your access to money and get involved in sexual coercion.
You must observe the tactics and don’t take them personally. However, it is important to make them realize the wrongdoing that they are doing. This will make them realize the importance of the relationship. Accepting their abusive behavior and getting tortured is not acceptable in any way. You should take proper measures to stop them from abusing you.
Play a Game
Narcissists use a lot of their charm to draw attention from others. They ask questions about others, but they won’t bother listening to the answers carefully. Being a partner with a covert narcissist can be challenging as they will interrupt you with their story. It will be difficult for them to listen to you instead. With the communication gap, you may feel difficult to cope with them. Instead of getting angry, play a game and quickly change the topic. Try to make it better each time with the perfect management.
Beware of surprise gifts
The tale of the Trojan horse is a perfect example of gifts given by a narcissist. You can never know what’s in their minds while giving you a gift. It is important to be careful with whatever they offer to you. Trojan horse is an intense game where a wooden house was full of army men. They wanted to enter the Greek City and formed this trap convincingly. In the end, they captured the city. While dealing with your covert narcissist husband, you need to be cautious and keep this story in mind.
Feed the Ego
Narcissists need their daily dose of attention to thrive. It would help if you gave them the affection, affirmation, and adoration they are looking for. A simple comment like ‘you are looking handsome’ will make a lot of difference. Just let them know they are impressive or good at something. If you show appreciation to your covert narcissist husband or show your gratitude for such things daily, then they will feel pleased and obliged by your gesture. This is not manipulation, as it is how their personality disorder works.
Being with a covert narcissist husband isn’t easy. They don’t have empathy for others and can create a lot of trouble for you. Similarly, a covert narcissist person may expect some sympathy for themselves, and you need to excel in it. Your partner may not reciprocate, but you need to keep putting in an effort. It may keep you at a distance and lack intimacy if you are not ready to change yourself. If you are not comfortable, it will be better to find a source that can comfort you.
Protect their insecurities
While living with a covert narcissist husband, you will understand more about their hidden insecurities. They will bring it up often in the form of retaliation during the fight. You should be ready for an offensive attack. If you reply, the reaction will be even more intense. It is their personality to defend themselves, or it will give them a lot of shame. A covert narcissist is insecure in so many ways. They are not confident about many things in their life. They want to protect their insecurities and as their wife, you must support them to maintain their self-esteem.
When you cannot handle a narcissistic husband on your own, it is better to take help. Whether it is a counselor, friend, or family member, you can get some encouragement. However, if you study their thoughts and learn more about why they are doing a certain thing, it might help you to make things right. It will help you cope even in the most difficult times. Sometimes they may need medical attention and you cannot shy away from doing so. You can act according to the situation and get the best results.