5 Weird things covert narcissists do to deceive their partners
you Are you caught up in a state of prolonged dysphoria – causing self-doubt, confusion, self-devaluation, and isolation? And you feel that you are dealing with a covert narcissist? But you don’t really know how to handle this situation and get out of this mess? As these people are deceptive and create enough confusion to make your mind go wild. But don’t worry as we will be discussing all kinds of weird things covert narcissists do to deceive you and how to handle them to live a purposeful & happy life. But first let’s discuss who covert narcissists are.
Who actually is Covert Narcissist?
A Covert Narcissist – also known as a secret narcissist is a kind of introvert prone to shy away from social gatherings. He or she suffers from low self-esteem and is extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism.
Covert narcissists are more likely to be passive-aggressive and very defensive. They lack emotional abilities and avoid situations where they have to empathize with others.
If you think that you are dealing with a covert narcissist partner and they are making you go crazy. Then, don’t worry as we would help you by making a list of weird things covert narcissists do to deceive you and how you can handle their behaviors effectively.
(Read other types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)
Weird things covert narcissists do to deceive you
Fake emotions and guilt trickery are included in the list of weird things covert narcissists do. Actually, they play with your mind in a way it doesn’t seem bad because it is a subtle form of emotional abuse they use in order to gain a control over you. For example, if someone has invited you for a dinner at your friend’s place. They might fake illness in order to gain your sympathy and attention. They might often use phrases like; ‘You don’t care about me anymore’ or ‘I miss how you used to cook for me etc’, to reawaken your empathy and get you worried.
The weird thing about this all is that they carry out their deceiving tactics at such a micro level that it gets almost impossible to assess their behavior.
Covert narcissists quite often use manipulation via gas lighting in order to make you question your own reality, sanity, and logical reasoning. This thing almost leads you toward a state of chronic perplexity and confusion. The weird sense of feeling that someone so close to you could want to make you feel insane – seems utterly impossible to believe.
For example; they might deny having a certain discussion with you or they might pretend that you never said or did a certain thing. And as you do your recollection of events, it leaves you with a sheer sense of helplessness.
Habitual lying is another thing included in the list of weird things covert narcissists do. It is amazing how they can cover a lie with another lie. And it would be amazing to witness how you would fall for it or even accept it.
For example, if you catch them cheating on you even with solid proof. They would attack you back with emotional black-mailing and make you feel guilty for not trusting them enough. And they won’t hesitate to even put up a false story to make them look innocent.
Passive Aggressive Behavior
It is quite irritating to bear weird things covert narcissists do and especially when they are engaged in an extensive passive-aggressive behavior in varying ways including cracking funny jokes on you making you feel bad or look bad in front of others, and even alone. Moreover, they would devalue you in a very subtle way which may look fine to you. That’s where the main problem lies as you become so habitual of their toxic behavior that you don’t bother to pay enough attention. Therefore, little by little psychologically they push you toward a state of ‘Dysphoria’.
Covert narcissists embody passive aggression in their behavioral conduct extremely cleverly. Sometimes, it could be merely an expression or even a gesture they would use that might
give you a weird feeling about their demeanor. But in reality, it reflects their invalidation or covetousness toward you.
For example, they might congratulate you on your marriage, your promotion to a new position, or your successful completion of a project but not with genuine zeal or vigor. But rather with a wicked smile or a gesture of contempt. They might say; ‘Oh you look lovely today, but I wish you had lost some weight’ or ‘You cook such delicious food. After all who taught you all those recipes?’
And it could seem a little weird to believe this coming from someone who is apparently so kind, caring, and sweet. You find yourself caught up in an endless mental debate about their being nice or evil.
Love-bombing habits are types of weird things covert narcissists do to make you feel beautiful and blessed. They will align themselves up look perfect to you. You will eventually be beguiled by this perfect story presented to you by them about them being ‘Your Ideal Partner’– that it would seem impossible to be untrue.
During this time they will shower you with gifts, love, and care merely to trap you in their own self-serving world.
However, this period doesn’t last forever. And you eventually find yourself with this weird sense of feeling if you had done something wrong that could have diminished that caring & loving spark they once had. Even upon encountering covert narcissists on this topic, you never get an honest answer. The fact that it didn’t last for long was because it was merely to make you fall for them.
How to break free from clutches of your partner Covert Narcissist?
Breaking free from covert narcissists’ abusive relationship is not easy task .
However, following steps might enable you develop some coping mechanism against weird things covert narcissists do:
- Setting boundaries can help you prevent them succeeding in their mission to deceive you. For example; if they plan to engage you in an excessive fight or argument, you can simply walk away or tell them that you will have conversation with them when they’re calm.
- Putting limits on conversations of covert narcissist partners and deciding agendas for conversation with them are other tools that could help deal with the situation.
- Getting regular therapy sessions from a therapist can help you identify and counter weird things covert narcissists do and equip yourself better as how to respond to them.
- Yoga & meditation can help you calm your mind, body & soul. It can also enable you to stay more focused, composed in the times of their explosive arguments and complaints.
- Learning to communicate clearly and precisely can help prevent covert narcissists to pick on you and deceive you. Also, you can record your conversations with them. So, that in the times of need you can replay them and end the toxicity before it erupts.
- Developing healthy communications with your close family and friends in whom you can confide the stories of your covert narcissist partners can also help you identify deceptive and manipulative patterns.
Numerous psychological experts suggest that it’s far better to end relationships with covert narcissists than to prolong them. Due to their harmful psychological effects and repercussions.
Survivors of covert narcissistic abuse once they break free from the toxic relationship feel as though they had been missing out on this huge chunk of life –with their own selves in it.
If you plan to end your relationship with them, then be prepared for the worst – for they’ll try every possible way to deceive you and make you fall into their trap again.