6 Useful Tips to deal Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do
There is no easy way to deal with the weird things covert narcissists do. Covert narcissists believe they are extraordinarily miserable yet superior to others. That seems quite a combo, but that is how it usually is. They may appear friendly and supportive of your goals, but secretly they are super jealous of your success and achievements. A covert narcissist has an unrealistic sense of self and a fragile ego, leading to dis-connectivity from the surroundings. You cannot be friends with a covert narcissist if you criticize them, even if it is constructive criticism.
They are hypersensitive to criticism and possess passive-aggressive behavior. Covert Narcissists are very insecure individuals who lack boundaries and can never hear a NO from anyone for anything. They are attention seekers and will go to nasty lengths to get it. Hence, it gets pretty hard to handle weird things covert narcissists do. However, let me walk you through a few valuable tips that came in handy for me while I was dealing with a covert narcissist myself.
Maintain a safe distance.
Maintaining a safe distance can be very tough while dealing with weird things covert narcissists do. You can minimize your interaction with a covert narcissist by changing your location in the office, taking breaks at different times, or simply blocking their contact number if their behavior is affecting your mental health.
Don’t take anything personally.
A covert narcissist can manipulate you into believing things that are not true about you. They will accuse you of lying, cheating, and deceiving while they do this with you. No matter how ridiculous their blames may sound, never believe a single thing they say about you. They throw their insecurities at you. Therefore, never let that take a toll on your mental health. I am speaking this from a personal experience. I was accused of being disloyal, self-centered, egoistic, and whatnot. I remained silent and walked away.
Don’t curtain their true colors.
Never allow a covert narcissist to belittle you in person and public. Call them out loud, so they don’t develop the audacity to humiliate you. For example, if they say something like, “You should work on this instead of that,” Respond by saying,” You seem too concerned about my work. Are you nervous?” Whether they admit it or not, they will be more careful, and you will feel more secure.
Always believe in yourself.
While interacting with a covert narcissist, you can be easily manipulated. Their behavior is so misleading that you can lose your voice without noticing it. It may take a while to realize that you are not vouching for yourself. Step back, and reflect on who you are, what your values are, and what are your goals and talents. Build a strong relationship with yourself before confronting the weird things covert narcissists do.
Set healthy boundaries.
One thing that a covert narcissist is unaware of is respecting your boundaries. They will always breach your boundaries. They cannot stand listening to a NO from you on anything, and everything has to be done their way. However, learn to say a NO wherever necessary. Covert narcissists lack empathy, and they have a strong sense of entitlement. They believe the world owes them something. When you start setting boundaries, they will begin to know they have no control over you. Nobody has a right to disrespect your values, and you advocate them by creating required boundaries.
Don’t believe their lies
A covert narcissist is always delusional and believes that they are always right. They usually target people with low self-esteem, who will be easy prey. They can go to any lengths to make you believe in their lies. Those lies can be personal, professional, or maybe more general. Covert narcissists lie to you to play mind games with you, confuse you, and keep you baffled so that you can never really figure out their reality. Please don’t engage in their lies; they cannot win that way.
If you are with someone displaying signs of covert narcissism, try to set boundaries and maintain a safe distance from them. Before doing so, try having a conversation with them. Refer them for a psychiatric consultation. If you have a narcissistic partner, it is hard to break ties with them and walk away, but you must respect your values and save yourself from the vicious cycle of pain and suffering.