Gaslighting is included in the list of weird things covert narcissists do to impart confusion and doubts in their victims. The main objective of this technique is to exercise power and control over the affected individual by mixing reality with imagination. It is a very clever tactic to create doubts in another’s person own judgment.
The term “gaslighting” came from the play Angel Street in 1938, which was later modified into a Hollywood movie named” Gaslight” by Alfred Hitchcock. In the movie, a gaslighter tries to make his spouse believe she is going mad to steal her wealth. Whenever he searches for her ornaments collection in the room and the gas lights dim downstairs. He influences her thoughts by saying that they are all her imagination, not reality. Gradually, she starts questioning her own memories and perceptions.
Gaslighting commonly occurs in abusive relationships, often accompanied by other forms of emotional and physical abuse. Although it is most prevalent in romantic relationships, it can also happen within family or workplace dynamics. Here, we will discuss how this technique is used through things covert narcissists say to manipulate their victims.
1. I never said that
Phrases like “That never happened,” “I never said that,” or “Are you sure I was there when you said that?” are things covert narcissists say to exemplify the behavior of a typical gas lighter. Such statements make the victim doubt their own perception of reality, causing them to rely on the manipulative narrative presented by their abuser. Consequently, the victim becomes increasingly dependent on their narcissistic gaslighting partner’s distorted version of reality.
2. You are Oversensitive
This phrase is among the things covert narcissists say and use as a gaslighting trick within relationships. It’s important to realize that you are not overly sensitive; rather, it is the abuser who lacks sensitivity and displays a cold-hearted nature. Their concern for your emotions and well-being is minimal unless it serves their own purposes. Once the initial allure fades, the relationship between an empath and a narcissist becomes far from enjoyable, leading to your gradual unravelling.
You didn’t anticipate this situation. You’re unable to recognize these things covert narcissists say as they unfold. Your self-doubt intensifies while your confidence and belief in yourself diminish. Your emotions are consistently invalidated, and you find yourself believing their distorted version of events. The damage is now complete. It’s not too distant in time when you catch yourself apologizing for standing up against their disrespectful comments that left you feeling utterly humiliated.
3. I am not the problem you are
Blame-shifting stands out as effective things covert narcissists say and employ narcissists to showcase their gaslighting behaviour and hidden manipulation techniques. It is crucial to differentiate between a normal person speaking lies and a narcissist doing the same thing. Normally, a person might lie to detach themselves from a problematic situation.
However, the condition is quite unique when narcissists gaslight you with lies, they expertly twist actions in a way that induces responsibility, making you feel as if you are the one being deceitful. They place blame on the victim, making them appear at fault. Not only do narcissists struggle to cease lying within a relationship, but they also excel at shifting the blame, painting the victim as the antagonist. According to Joie, some people may unknowingly believe that acceptance is the right course of action rather than ending the relationship.
In my case, I remained in a relationship with a narcissistic gaslighting boyfriend for an extended period, perhaps influenced by my lack of knowledge about his infidelity. When a narcissist is confronted with their lies, they manipulate the situation to divert blame onto someone else. Their objective is to twist the circumstances and assign responsibility for their actions to another individual.
4. I am doing this because I love you
Love bombing, an often overlooked form of gaslighting are things covert narcissists say to shower the victim with excessive affection and attention. Gaslighters employ this strategy to manipulate and deceive their targets, making it difficult for them to question or disagree with the gaslighter’s words or actions. They may even accuse the victim of lacking belief or love if they express opposing views.
Gaslighters relentlessly pursue their hidden agenda, striving to exert influence over the victim’s thoughts and opinions. They may also demand trust in their behaviours.
It is essential to resist falling for such things covert narcissists say while handling close relationships. Manipulative and narcissistic partners often feign love, concern, affection, and intimacy to deceive their victims. They exploit the knowledge they gather about their partner’s insecurities, desires, and secrets, using it to mentally manipulate and exploit them.
5. Learn to take a joke
Love bombing, an often overlooked form of gaslighting used by malignant narcissists and sociopaths, involves showering the victim with excessive affection and attention. Gaslighters employ this strategy to manipulate and deceive their targets, making it difficult for them to question or disagree with the gaslighter’s words or actions. They may even accuse the victim of lacking belief or love if they express opposing views.
Gaslighters relentlessly pursue their hidden agenda, striving to exert influence over the victim’s thoughts and opinions. It is extremely important to identify these techniques and prepare oneself with tactics for handling narcissistic spouses before submitting to their manipulations. The gaslighter might use phrases such as “I’m saying this because I love you and want to protect you” or “I believe I know what’s best for you because I love you” to defend their activities. They may also demand trust in their behaviours.
It is essential to resist falling for such gaslighting expressions within relationships. Manipulative and narcissistic partners often feign love, concern, affection, and intimacy to deceive their victims. They exploit the knowledge they gather about their partner’s insecurities, desires, and secrets, using it to mentally manipulate and exploit them.
After enduring gaslighting in a relationship, friendship, or work environment, it is often crucial to seek additional support to address the effects of gaslighting abuse. Joining support groups consisting of individuals who have undergone similar experiences can be highly beneficial in assisting victims to tackle things covert narcissists say.It also helps in overcoming feelings of isolation and self-blame. Seeking therapy can also aid in the healing process, addressing issues such as self-doubt, low self-esteem, and lack of trust, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that may result from this distressing ordeal.
Receiving treatment from empathetic mental health professionals, along with the support of a caring community, enables young adults to regain their emotional well-being and face manipulative things covert narcissists say. At Youthtabletalk, our approach is to empower young individuals to cultivate trusting connections with others while rediscovering their inner guidance and wisdom. If you want some more information about things covert narcissists say then click here.