5 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do to Seek Sympathy and Validation


Dealing with a person posing as a victim or martyr becomes quite challenging sometimes. They pose as a victim to get sympathy and become extremely toxic. Experts observed that these people are mostly covert narcissists who don’t feel empathy for other people. If you are also experiencing an encounter with these people then keep reading on as we will discuss basic traits of these people to seek sympathy and how you can better deal with these people in a proper way.

What are the signs of a narcissistic martyr manipulator?

Sometimes it is extremely tough to recognize a narcissistic martyr manipulator as they may initially look like compassionate people. However, it’s extremely essential to be watchful for manipulative tactics such as assuming the victim role, using guilt as a tool to control others. Additionally, they may hide hidden feelings of resentment, show intensified sensitivity to criticism, or pose an exaggerated sense of self-respect. These are the people who suffer from martyr complex.

What is the Martyr Complex and how it is associated with Covert Narcissism?

Playing the martyr, often referred to as having a “martyr complex,” involves an exaggerated sense of duty to endure suffering or make sacrifices for others, with the aim of garnering sympathy, love, and admiration. It also serves to induce guilt. Therefore, engaging in martyrdom constitutes passive-aggressive behavior and is considered a characteristic trait of covert narcissism.

The Martyr Complex and Covert Narcissism

While not always the case, the presence of a martyr complex can indicate covert narcissism. Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), is not a one-size-fits-all condition; it manifests in various and sometimes contradictory forms. Currently, there are recognized subtypes of narcissism: grandiose (overt) and vulnerable (covert).

What are the Weird Ways Covert Narcissists Do to Seek Sympathy and Validation ?

Covert Manipulation

Sometimes covert narcissists seem vulnerable, but they always use manipulative tactics to get sympathy or attention from people around them. These strategies include gas lighting, stonewalling, playing the victim, emotional blackmailing, and other passive-aggressive behaviors. Sometimes weird things covert narcissists do might include exploiting others to achieve their own goals, showing little regard for others’ well-being.

Passive Grandiosity

Covert narcissists don’t overtly seek admiration and attention from others; instead, they use elusive techniques to boost their ego. For example, they might subtly offer compliments, overstate their achievements, or boast about their achievements to receive endorsement from others compensating their feelings of inadequacy.

Victim Playing

Victim Playing is one of the weird things covert narcissists do to attract sympathy and backing from others while evading responsibility for their behaviors. It is an effective strategy to save themselves from challenges or criticism through embracing a victim mindset and then showing themselves as powerless and unjustly treated.

Shifting Blame

Covert narcissists mostly show an image of confidence, calmness, and power to people around them. But, underneath this facade of strength rests a deeply fragile core.

They mostly hide their true personalities from close ones, and even outsiders, while avoiding responsibility for their activities. Instead, they might shift blame onto others or external elements for any mistakes or deficiencies.

Concealing Their Authenticity

Weird things covert narcissists do often display an image of self-confidence, self-control, and authority to people close to them. But, beneath this exterior lies a profoundly fragile core.

These are kinds of people who find it difficult to express their demands, often due to a concern of failure and refusal. Therefore, they might retreat from social gatherings and isolate themselves from others.

How to deal with Narcissist Martyrs?

Navigating a relationship with a martyr narcissist poses challenges, but gaining insight of weird things covert narcissists do can assist in managing the dynamics. Establishing healthy boundaries is essential when dealing with such individuals.

By clearly defining expectations and upholding these boundaries, you safeguard your mental well-being. Seeking therapy, such as psychotherapy, is a constructive approach to coping with a martyr narcissist. Therapists offer guidance on managing passive-aggressive behavior and fostering constructive communication.

Adopting a compassionate approach while dealing weird things covert narcissists do can enhance understanding and promote healthier dynamics. Encouraging accountability and guiding them towards constructive coping mechanisms requires patience and empathy.

Drawing support from friends is invaluable during this process, providing fresh perspectives and coping strategies. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is paramount.

Recognizing the impact of a martyr narcissist’s behavior is crucial for safeguarding your well-being. Setting clear boundaries is pivotal to maintaining self-esteem, involving limitations on interactions, expressing feelings calmly, and asserting needs without guilt.

Final Words

In addition to all these ways, it is always so important to get help from professionals who know how to deal with weird things covert narcissists do. They can be a support group, company, or healthcare institution experts in dealing with this martyr complex disorder.

These organizations have teams of mental health professionals expert in helping people identify and change their behaviors along with developing positive instruments for self-care.

If you want to learn more about the covert narcissism ,then click here to read more articles having same theme.

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