an argument

10 Telltale Things Covert Narcissists say in an Argument

Have you ever argued with someone who telltale so picturesquely that you take a moment to process your stance?You thought of labeling someone’s toxic behavior, which made you stuck into an argument but your mind failed to find the perfect word.

On the other hand, you felt so done with someone’s vindictiveness but have no clue how to unravel his or her trap?

Such people often misjudged as compulsive liars, but they are the two-faced con artists who are experts in twisting their statements and playing with your emotions to win arguments. We are talking here about the mystery perjurer Covert Narcissists.

This article will help you reshape your stance and find the best response to what Covert Narcissists say in an argument.

– Narcissism and Covert Narcissists

– Psyche of Covert Narcissists in an Argument

– 10 Telltale Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument

– How to Win Arguments against Covert Narcissists

Narcissism and Covert Narcissists

Psychologists explain Narcissism as a personality trait that falls into a broader spectrum. The core pattern of behaviors within a Narcissistic Personality is evident as inflated self-esteem, higher self-grandiosity, self-entitlement, envy of others, Infatuation with power, money, fame, etc. The chronic stage of possessing these traits known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This clinical diagnosis of NPD is the domain of mental health professionals.

Since the tendency of having Narcissism in a personality varies, the spectrum suggests there exists an introverted form of Narcissism known as Covert Narcissists. This form of Narcissistic Personality is extremely arduous to identify but there is plenty of ongoing research on Covert Narcissists to aid people coping with Narcissistic Abuse.

Covert Narcissists are con artists with ostentatious traits of Narcissism hidden behind a thin veneer of shyness, vulnerability, insecurity, and low self-esteem. Covert Narcissists project their image as soft, apologetic, help-seeking individuals but deep down they are juggling with egoistic grandiosity and a lack of empathy for others. If you observe closely their behaviors and emotional reactions, you will see the shade of Narcissism masked behind coyness and hypersensitivity.

It might take you years to realize how the helpless and insecure Covert Narcissists cross all the limits during an argument. Despite what they did wrong, you always proven guilty.

Here is what things Covert Narcissists say in an argument that magically swoosh the guilty party.

Psyche of Covert Narcissists in an Argument

Craig Malkin a renowned Clinical Psychologist and Lecturer at Harvard Medical School suggests; “Covert Narcissists feel special because they believe their pain is more important than others”, his 20 years of extensive research on Covert Narcissists explores how Covert Narcissists believe they are the person who is suffering the most during arguments, or they are the misunderstood genius. [1]

The things Covert Narcissists say in an argument with their spouse, loved ones, and colleagues portray their underlying motives. Covert Narcissists firmly believe the issues that led to arguments are only affecting them they deserve justice hence engage in telltale tactics. Due to a lack of empathy and being envious of others, they always take the lead in hoaxing the altercation and deluding the facts during arguments.

Covert Narcissists can go extremely heartless during arguments to satisfy their own fragile self-esteem and disturbed ego. Moreover,they are hypersensitive to criticism, and if they see the slightest amount of humiliation coming their way, they will take the flight to burn the house down. Covert Narcissists make sure they fill the room with their energy; despite their introverted aura, they will desperately show their presence to gain attention and admiration.

You may wonder how to spot Covert Narcissists’ telltale games if you do not know about their exact verbatim during arguments. We have got the job done for you!

Let us dig into the top 10 Telltale Things Covert Narcissists say in an Argument.

10 Telltale Things Covert Narcissists say in an Argument

1.One-sided Telltales

Covert Narcissists covertly display the need for attention and validation, so they engage in conversations where only their side be heard. Covert Narcissists are experts in steering arguments to one-sided gains; they will boast about their way of looking at things as different and interrupt you deliberately. They will come up with stories that somehow project them as the main characters to express their pain and to show how the insufferable makes them special.

“You’ve no idea how difficult it is to provide for the family, only I know what I go through daily”, “No, you can never understand my pain”.

2.Diffusion of Responsibility

The childhood of Covert Narcissists plays an important role in shaping their behavior towards accountability. They lived under controlled authoritative parental figures, this experience of hurt by the authority, and their inability to question them is something they reinforce in the future.

Covert Narcissists hurt others during arguments but never take responsibility for what they did to hurt them. The emotion of shame exists in Covert Narcissists but due to grandiose egos, they run away from confrontations and believe in teaching lessons the hard way.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you but you asked for it”, “I had to do it this way so you can feel what I’ve been through”, and “I am like this I can’t help”.


Covert Narcissists do not easily rely on other people but when it comes to endorsing their power during altercations, they include a third party. The mediator always works in their favor or they project the third-party opinion in their light, which favors their position. The things Covert Narcissists say in an argument deviously framed to infuriate the opponent. Covert Narcissists cleverly add value to their telltales so that victims may feel insecure and unsure about their stance.

“Well, my mother believes I can be a perfect wife”, “You don’t know how lucky you are, girls are dying to date me”, and, “I think you should learn something from your friend, she is so smart”.

4.Flippancy and Humor

When you encounter Covert Narcissists in an intense argument, they often delude the situation with flippant humor. They are cunning clowns who pull out tricks such as sugarcoating an insult or humiliating someone with taunts. They are envious of others and devalue the emotions of others to protect their self-image.

“You took me completely wrong, I was just joking”, “Lol, who cares”, and “Don’t mind but you look funny”.

5.Silent Treatment

Covert Narcissists have a hypersensitive idea of self-importance; slightest criticism can trigger their avoidance behavior and lack of empathy. When they believe a situation will demand them to come out of their covert exterior, they will engage in silent treatment. The silent treatment of Covert Narcissists always tactically used to exert their authority and indirectly manipulate others. Covert Narcissist’s silence rarely followed by an apology; it on the contrary has nuances of their vengeance.

“Leave me alone”, “I’m fine”, “I need some personal time”, or “No matter how many times I repeat, you won’t understand”.


The things Covert Narcissists say in an argument center around fabricating the facts and statements as per their evil plotting. They will be eager to seek validation from your social circle and you by fabricating the stories so that they can become the center of attention.

“Honey you should look around, I just heard your friend talking over the phone with someone gossiping about you”, “It’s my fault that I tried to help my boss, and he’s making a fuss out of my project report”.

7.Victim Card

A deceiver would rant the loudest until you trust their innocence; similarly, a Covert Narcissist’s external persona is about showing immense insecurity. They will try their hardest to prove their innocence and depict themselves as the victim.

Covert Narcissists are prone to shifting attention towards them but not for grandeur reasons, they want to validate their helplessness. Playing the victim card assures them that people will respond to their pain and suffering.

“Nobody understands me”, “The world is being unjust to me”, “Ah! It only happens with me”.

8.Passive Aggressive

The things Covert Narcissists say in an argument sound like subtle attacks, but with deeper meanings. They love to intimidate their partners and they want to exert power by threatening the opponent. Covert Narcissists make every move conditional for the next person, which makes it an even more mentally draining experience.

“If you break up with me, I’ll leak your private chats”, “You haven’t seen me angry yet”, “I’m trying to help you, and if you don’t listen to me you will be responsible for the results”.


Covert Narcissists are not always lucky to encounter empaths, when they come across challenging dominant personalities it gets them in trouble. Covert Narcissists then use their manipulative tactics of fakery and flattering. They tend to control such heated situations by taking the poor soul or helpless position and pretending that the influential person is their savior.

“Oh, I cannot trust anyone other than you”, “How miserable, I got us into this argument”, and “I get angry because I care for you”.

10.Walking on Eggshells

The self-loathing behavior of Covert Narcissists makes it harder for them to let go the disagreements or fights. Covert Narcissists take revenge by forcing their partner/opponent to walk on eggshells, where they become guilty and cautious of their responses because it can trigger Covert Narcissists in no time.

“How many times have I told you not to touch my stuff”, “How long have we been together still you don’t know what pleases me”, and “I am so done with you”.

The things Covert Narcissists say in an argument can get anybody upset while solving their telltales is another challenge. We want you to combat such debilitating situations by winning arguments against Covert Narcissists.

How to Win Arguments against Covert Narcissists

1.Canceling Provocation:

Do not let any provocation by the Covert Narcissists enter your boundaries. Write down your thoughts.

2.Responding Not Reacting:

Take time in responding to the telltales and things Covert Narcissists say in an argument, channel your thoughts then respond.

3.Assertive Avoidance

When you see Covert Narcissists are causing conflicts try to leave them on their own, and do not take part in winning the arguments with them. Let them get back to you at their own pace.

4.Social Support:

You never know how Narcissism penetrates, sometimes you do not believe it is happening but you become just like them. Seek social and professional support to keep your sanity in check and validate positive feelings.

Further exploring things Covert Narcissists say in an argument helps you to identify Covert Narcissists in other spheres of life.

If you want to know more about Covert Narcissists, then click here!

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